A dear friend of mine Sara Packard recently created a call to courage, planting a seed for reflection as to "my why". Why do I do the things I do, make the choices I have made (because I always have a choice), work countless jobs with crazy hours and the list goes on... For me the answer is simple. I have learned to listen. I know now that the impulse to shift on the inside when accompanied with a the whisper of this "incredible new idea" I had is actually not me at all. It's the universe. Turning my head to see a new opportunity, opening a door and guiding me along the way.
I have learned to trust myself for I have placed my faith in my journey, the stars and the unknown. I am calm. I am steady. I observe the bigger picture. Every action I take leads me to my next step, not always forward I might add, but with each step, I learn, evolve and shift into a new version of myself. It's never a "better" or "worse" version because lets me honest, I have my moments, it is however new, raw and real in that moment.
I am in a constant state of evolution and I love every second of it. All of my "jobs" don't define me, they refine me. I have created a world in which each day I traverse down the buffet line (because y'all know how much I love food) and fill my plate with what speaks to my soul, fueling me up and craving more. In life, just like with food, my eyes are often bigger than my belly and I am known to bite off more than I can chew, but that too is a lesson. As the old saying goes "one thing at a time." I don't need to have everything at once and there will always be options on the table.
At the end of the day, the even simpler answer to my crazy life is, I LOVE what I do. I love every part of who I am; making magic happen behind the scenes, sharing my soul onstage, gifting an audience with a visceral experience, guiding people on their journey, shedding light on the power of the human body, being a source of light for those who are surrounded by darkness, being a daughter, sister, friend. I do it all because I believe in humanity and I love this crazy fucked up world and I am not ready to leave it. I have more work to do.