Prideful Personal Party.
Have you ever stopped to truly reflect on how far you've come? Everything you've accomplished. What it took to get yourself to where you are. The wars you've waged, the mountains you've climbed, the waters you've crossed without a life jacket or Mickey Mouse floaty's. Today I look back and am humbled by the roads I have traveled, the trees I have surmounted, the storms I have raged and all the beautiful moments that have taken my breath away, set my soul on fire and shown me all that I am capable of.
A year and a half ago, I was broken. I was knocked flat on my back. Literally. I had thrown my back out for the second time in 6 months and I couldn't stand up or walk, let alone dance. My heart was shattered and my soul was crushed. This was the beginning of what was about to be the most transformative year of true healing in which I built the foundation that I am now standing solidly on two feet on top of, not to mention DANCING on.
Healing truly takes time and effort. Listening. Loving. Understanding. Learning to embrace my intuitive sense of my body's wisdom, vs forcing it into submission. These lessons are easy to comprehend on an intellectual level and then some days seemingly impossible to put into practice, resulting in mass consumption of guacamole. This time around however, these previously etherial lessons came to me in the form of nutrition. Now, now, before you think anything else, I AM THE HEALTHIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN and have adapted a holistic approach to healing my body from the inside out, which has been aided by nutrition. Trusting my inner guidance and partnering with the brilliant being that is Molly Rose Hoffman, who has supported every part of me since day 1 (even the part that just wants to sit and eat ice cream all day every day), has resulted in a sense of inner quiet and continued healing of this body that has carried me through; self harm, suicidal tendencies, injuries, mental barriers, emotional break downs, endless sports, undeniable break throughs, defying gravity, flying and humbly sitting with the silence of my physical body and soul-filled being. I am still healing from the trauma my physical body has endured and the psyche that plays its part, BUT..... I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF. My growth. My tenacious spirit. My ability to embrace every part of who I am. The dark. The light. The phases of the moon that guide my mermaid mystique. I continue to fall in love with myself every day and I think that is a damn beautiful thing and something to rejoice.
The second part of my story comes from the building of my career. An injury of any kind is devastating. An injury for a dancer will rip their soul in two, and that is exactly how it felt. I am continuously grateful for Lyons Den Power Yoga for teaching me to meet my body where it's at, always leaving room for modification and mediation. But more importantly I am eternally in debt to Braxton Rose who introduced me to The Egoscue Method and gave me my first glimpse at a pain free life that included longevity as a professional dancer. I was never broken, simply out of alignment. After the kindness, generosity and wisdom Braxton dropped graciously in my lap, in a small package with a bow, I immediately knew this would be my calling and future career.
One year ago, almost to the day, I became certified as a Postural Alignment Specialist after completing an internship program in which I had the honor of spending two weeks in San Diego CA, at the Egoscue clinic in Del Mar. To say The Egoscue Method changed my life is an understatement. It has taught me how to reconnect with myself, be continuously curious and in awe of the human body and all the while, granting me the opportunity to educate and guide the best clients and humans on their own journey. I AM SO PROUD to say that after a trying year filled with doubt, chaos, questioning and determination, I am now officially a FULL TIME POSTURAL ALIGNMENT THERAPIST with one of the best hidden gems of a company around, in the city I said I'd never move to. I simply would not be where I am, with the career I have, if it wasn't for a devastating injury and the support of an army to guide me in tandem with the universe.
I share all of this with you today because it's okay to BE PROUD. Be proud of all that you are and all you have endured, seeing it through to the other side. It's not bragging. It's not having an inflated ego. It's not being a bitch or a queen. It IS simply celebrating yourself, all that you've accomplished and your growth through the trials of your personal trauma. The caveat... just because you choose (as I have) not to share every detail on social media, DOES NOT degrade the personal growth and significance of each step forward and every set back. This year has taught me to stay the course, trust my inner knowing and above all celebrate myself because, I truly am worth it.